"Lima Delta"

November. Zulu Hotel, Quebec.
Oscar tango Juliet, echo foxtrot.
Yankee papa – golf, whiskey.

India sierra. Alfa Romeo.
Uniform xray “Victor” Mike
– kilo charlie.


Spotted the NATO phonetic alphabet pinned to the wall in a call centre yesterday and wondered if I could make a story by rearranging it. NB Lima Delta is a derogatory term in the military. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Alan to Zoe

Alan, Alfie, Ami,
Benedict, Clementine, Eilidh.
Gemma, Georgia,
Huxley, Isaac, Joseph, Leah,
Liam, Macie, Marika.
Mateus, Matthew,
Muadh, Niuniu,
Risha, Seungji, Shilo.
Tamzin, Taslima, Tyan,

My son has just started school. This list contains the first names of all his classmates (memorised from their pegs). He’s having trouble remembering them. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

To Bumble Beer

Simply the Best, The Bee’s Knees,
Eight Hundred Years of Innovation;
William Wilberforce Freedom Ale,
Eight Hundred Years of Inspiration.

Jack’s Revenge, Geronimo, Polly’s Folly, Oscar Wilde,
Nelson’s Revenge, Tally Ho!, Nero, Black Dog Freddy Mild.
Merry Andrew, Happy Jack, Prometheus, Sir Roger’s Porter,
Edwin Taylor’s Extra Stout, Betty Stogs, Gunner’s Daughter.

Cock ‘n’ Bull story, Mutt’s Nuts, Straw Dog, Stoat,
Golden Newt, Sly Fox, White Hart, Old Goat,
Curlew’s Return, Black Dog Mild, Double Swan, Porker’s Snout,
Funky Monkey, Whapweasel, Marmalade Cat, Oyster Stout.

Porta Porta, Salem Porter,
Black Jack Porter, Aviator;
Rivet Catcher, Umbel Magna
Golden Plover, Silver Adder;
Cornish Knocker, Spingo Bragget
Broadside, Spingo Jubilee;
Kellyhopter, Maritime, Frigate,
Wherry, Village Bike, Maybee…

Nyewood Gold, Somerland Gold, Golden Lance, Dark O,
Shackler’s Gold, Halzephron Gold, Golden Shower, Nero.
Honey Blonde, Sunchaser Blonde, Blonde Bombshell, Loveley’s Fair,
Lakeland Red, Kingston Black, Dark Ruby, Ginger Bear.

Polar Eclipse, Stormwatch, Spooky Moon, Storm Force,
Polar Star, Impy Dark, Dark Forest, Golden Gorse;
Lost in the Woods, Armageddon, Pendle Witches’ Brew,
Flying Serpent, Red Dragon, Iron Bridge Brew.

Elderquad, Agincourt, Danish Dynamite,
Scapa special, Chawden Aur, Chocolate Orange Delight.
Elderfizz, Shacklebush, Mad Monk, Pioneer,
Welterweight, Slumberjack, Pi, Bumble Beer.

A list of beer names (and three ciders – can you spot them?) from the Thirty-Sixth Cambridge Beer Festival Programme, May 2009. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.