She was going out with him,
she was supposed to love him,
but she left him in the fridge
and let the council deal with the body.
(Overheard in the street in southern England. Submitted by Mark Totterdell)
She was going out with him,
she was supposed to love him,
but she left him in the fridge
and let the council deal with the body.
(Overheard in the street in southern England. Submitted by Mark Totterdell)
I started thinking about smell,
the strange olfactory world,
and made a collection
of evocative aromas.
Rubber, naphtha, motorcycle dope,
cuir de russe, gasoline, ammonia.
Juniper wood, styrax, patchouli,
frangipani, amber, myrrh, geraniol.
Opoponx, heliotrope, nardo
spikenard oil, civet, coumarin.
Where does karanal stand
in relation to tuberose?
Or sandalwood to sage?
Don’t ask me.
(From Scents and Sensibility by Brian Eno, 1992. Submitted by Dale Wisely)
Mommy, the universe
is such a big scary place,
says the little girl with red hair.
Oh, yes, it is such a big scary place,
says the red-headed mother
of the little girl with red hair.
But don’t worry, dear,
we’re not going there.
(Overhead in the Hayden Planetarium, New York City. Submitted by J.R. Solonche)
Mummy, I’m not afraid to die.
Why do you talk of dying
and you so young
do you want a lollipop?
No, but I shall be with Peter and June.
Mummy, let me tell you about my dream last night.
Darling, I’ve no time now. Tell me again later.
No, Mummy, you must listen.
I dreamt I went to school
and there was no school there.
Something black had come down all over it.
You mustn’t have chips for supper for a bit.
The next day off to school went her daughter
as happy as ever.
In the communal grave she was buried
with Peter on one side
and June on the other.
(From an account of 10-year-old Eryl Mai’s premonition of the 1966 Aberfan avalanche disaster)
A YEAR AGO LAST SEPTEMBER TWO ladies with a child
were travelling on the Hudson River cars,
one of whom offered a seat to a middle aged gentleman
with light whiskers or goatee
slightly gray, who kindly pointed out to her
the red leaved trees
and said he had a number of them on his place
and made himself otherwise agreeable;
and when she was leaving him
(ten miles this side of where he stopped)
gave her a parting embrace, which she has never
been able to forget.
(A personal ad from the New York Herald, 25 January 1862)
Hello?
Hello.
I just wondered
what your middle name
was.
My middle name?
Yeah.
I haven’t got one,
actually
I’ve got a confirmation name
but
that’s not really an official name
and
that’s Mary.
Oh
same as mine.
Alright, Susan.
Thank you.
(Kate Bush’s interview on a BBC Radio 1 phone in, 1979. Submitted by Luke Bailey)
I took my seat
at the microfilm reader
and began to scroll
slowly
through the archives.
For the first hundred years,
as far as I could tell,
all that happened in America
was that various people
named Nathaniel
had purchased land
near rivers.
I scrolled faster,
finally reaching an account
of an early Colonial-era shaming.
On July 15, 1742,
a woman named Abigail,
her husband at sea,
had been found
“naked in bed
with one John Russell.”
They were to be
“whipped at the public post
20 stripes each.”
Abigail
was appealing the ruling,
but it wasn’t the whipping itself she wished to avoid.
She was begging the judge
to be whipped early,
before the town awoke.
From How One Stupid Tweet Blew Up Justine Sacco’s Life. Submitted by Daniel Galef.
Calls only, I don’t do mores code
I don’t text
be a man and call me.
No title no title no title
don ask
yes it is a 1986
so yes
it may have some rust
if that bugs dont buy it
that how It is
no you may not come work on it
if you buy it take it home do what you want
may run May not,
i don’t know
Will not drive jeep to your place
no joy rides
no cash no test drive
Trades welcome
need to be man stuff
no toy race cars,
or over price atvs,
or rolls of used carpet
or doll houses
no junk
Jeep not for a teenage girl’s first jeep,
jeep built to be driven by a man
offers ok.
(From Craigslist sales posts, Charlotte, NC. Submitted by Carlos Pelay)
In this quiet inlet,
some eddy has collected
and drowned at the bottom
of the mire, now turned into marl,
enormous heaps of shells
of every shape and size.
It is a molluscs’ burying ground
with hills for tumuli.
I dig up oysters a cubit long
and weighing five or six pounds a piece.
One could shovel up in the immense pile,
Scallops, Cones, Cylheridae,
Mactridae, Murices,
Turretellidae, Mitridae
and others too numerous,
too innumerable to mention
You stand stupefied before the vital ardour
of the days of old, which was able
to supply such a pile of relics
in a mere nook of earth.
(Jean-Henri Fabre on fossils in The Faber Book of Science. Submitted by Taidgh Lynch)
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