my husband tiptoes
through life

afraid someone
might ask him
to leave

*

i fix my lover’s typos,
grammar mistakes
before i send his emails

to my friends
to read

*

this summer
i will teach my children
a few tricks
on the trampoline

in hopes that they
will run away
and join the circus

*

my wedding song
was meant to be
Take My Breath Away
but we didn’t play it
because
he wasn’t
the one

*

at my fortieth
when i blew out the candles
a room of people
watched me
silently wish
for my husband
to die

*

i like my dog
way more than
i like my cat

i should probably
never have kids

*

i cry in my office
sometimes
when my colleagues
go out to lunch
and don’t invite me

*

he calls himself
my boyfriend

i call him
my current boyfriend

*

i root for the hurricanes

*

every time
my boyfriend tries
to pronounce french words
i think
he is the reason
why the french hate us

*

i wear frumpy pajamas to bed
so he won’t get any ideas

i wear short skirts to work
so somebody else will

*

i am
a
path

ological
liar

(Confessions from CAVE canum. Submitted by Michael Haeflinger)