Agoraphobia Bites

I started to feel like
something was pushing me
down into the ground and I just freaked out.

So I grabbed the bairns and
said we’ve got to go home.
I felt like everything was just closing

in on me I thought I
was dying. I heard the
bairns in the garden playing in the snow

and I got angry with myself
and I thought I’m missing out on them.

So I slowly sidled
to the edge of the bed,
crawled on my hands and knees to the window

and looked out all wide-eyed.
One of the bairns looked up
and waved and said ‘there’s mam’ I said ‘hi son’

and shot back into bed.

(The words of Sue Curtis in Woman Leaves House After 20 Years)