Author: gabrielsmy

Picasso’s cats

I don’t like those high-class cats that purr
on the couch in the parlor.
I adore cats that have turned wild,
their hair standing on end.

They hunt birds, prowl,
roam the streets like demons.
They cast their wild eyes at you,
ready to pounce on your face.

Have you noticed that female cats in the wild
are always pregnant?
Obviously, they think of
nothing but love.

From Conversations With Picasso, Brassai (University of Chicago Press, 1999). Submitted by Amy Schreibman Walter.

Found confessions

my husband tiptoes
through life

afraid someone
might ask him
to leave

*

i fix my lover’s typos,
grammar mistakes
before i send his emails

to my friends
to read

*

this summer
i will teach my children
a few tricks
on the trampoline

in hopes that they
will run away
and join the circus

*

my wedding song
was meant to be
Take My Breath Away
but we didn’t play it
because
he wasn’t
the one

*

at my fortieth
when i blew out the candles
a room of people
watched me
silently wish
for my husband
to die

*

i like my dog
way more than
i like my cat

i should probably
never have kids

*

i cry in my office
sometimes
when my colleagues
go out to lunch
and don’t invite me

*

he calls himself
my boyfriend

i call him
my current boyfriend

*

i root for the hurricanes

*

every time
my boyfriend tries
to pronounce french words
i think
he is the reason
why the french hate us

*

i wear frumpy pajamas to bed
so he won’t get any ideas

i wear short skirts to work
so somebody else will

*

i am
a
path

ological
liar

(Confessions from CAVE canum. Submitted by Michael Haeflinger)

The Heart Doctor

I enjoy my life
I enjoy my children now
particularly they’re grown up and
not squawking
I love being with them all
perhaps not at the same time

I’m fairly hopeless grandmother
I like them when they grow up
You don’t leave small children with me!
I’d always got, as my oldest son said, ‘staff’
someone who looked after their nonsenses

I don’t like this repetitive
‘Please do this’
‘Please don’t be rude’
I can’t be dealing with all that!
Actually I tell them
I like the dog best

Transcribed from an interview with Jane Somerville, cardiologist, on Desert Island Discs, Friday 12th July 2013. Submitted by Grace Andreacchi.

Poetry. Please.

My wife died last month

and she loved this poem;

my son is getting married
and I want this poem
to cheer
for him and his bride;

I am sad
and nothing makes sense,
but these verses still manage
to lift me up;

I half recall these words
but can you finish the couplet for me
and help me to get it
out of my head;

I am ill and old
but give me some John Donne
to remind me that I was once
young and in love;

I am young and in love
and please don’t use my name
but play this poem
for my heart’s desire.

From Poetry Please: the poetic pulse of a nation, The Guardian, 26 September 2013. Submitted by Ailsa Holland.

Dear Professor,

I have been feeling dizzy and lightheaded this morning
and want to let you know
that I will not be making it to class.

I am currently in bed with a migraine.
Unfortunately, they happen from time to time.

I’m really not feeling well again today
so I think I have to miss class again.

I’m in a class right now where I’ll be taking a test,
but I’ve been sick for a while (coughing, throat,
headache, etc.) and don’t know if I’ll have the energy
to sit in a classroom for three hours.

I’m currently experiencing bad wheelchair problems
that will, as of now, render me unable to get to class tomorrow.

Just reminding you that I am missing class Thursday
to attend the SUNY Model EU summit
in New York City as a part of the Press Corps.

I had to miss today’s journalism class due to heart palpitations.

Please excuse my absence tomorrow,
a family friend committed suicide and I rushed home.

I will get the notes from a classmate.

E-mails received from students during spring and fall 2013 semesters at SUNY New Paltz. Submitted by Howie Good.

Interview

Judge Mario Cantone of “Sex and the City” fame
Asked Miss Oklahoma
What she thought of Miley Cyrus’
Recent twerk-filled VMAs performance.

Judge Lance Bass of N*SYNC
Asked Miss Minnesota
Whether political candidates
Were carrying “Stand By Your Man” too far
By supporting their spouses.

[PHOTOS: 50 most beautiful female celebrities]

Violinist Joshua Bell
Asked Miss California
If it was the United States’ responsibility
To punish Syria for using
Chemical weapons on its own people.

TV chef Carla Hall
Quizzed Miss New York
About what message was sent
By Julie Chen’s revelation
She’d had plastic surgery to look less Asian,
To advance her career.

Miss America 2005 Deidre Downs Gunn
Asked Miss Florida
About what the country should do
About minorities having disproportionately low income
And disproportionately high rates
Of unemployment and incarceration.

Miss Florida’s answer was actually cut off for time.

From Miss America crowns first Indian American winner, Nina Davuluri, LA Times, 16 September 2013. Submitted by Mark Dzula.

American Portraits

1
Arrested by the Seattle police
for shooting a car’s tires.
Enlisted in the Navy Reserve.
Spent two days in jail
after a bar fight in Georgia.
Investigated for shooting a gun through his ceiling.
Honorably discharged,
despite “pattern of misbehavior.”
Contractor security clearance re-approved.
Told the Rhode Island police
he was hearing voices.
Twice went to Veterans Affairs hospitals
seeking treatment for insomnia.
Killed 12 people at Washington Navy Yard.

2
One morning she flew
to an early analyst meeting
and realized too late
that she had left
her dress shoes on the plane.
So she eyed women
in the baggage claim area,
spotted a suitable pair
worn by one of them —
and approached
with a $120 cash offer
for the emergency footwear.
The stranger said no
but offered a second pair
from her suitcase. Done.

3
The tail fin of a sockeye salmon
caught in a net in Bristol Bay, Alaska.

Matthew Sullivan releasing a gull
that crash-landed on the deck of the Rollo.

New buoys sit aboard a crab vessel.

Billie Delaney, a fisherwoman, holds
a dead seabird at Graveyard Point.

Stanza 1 is taken from the New York Times article, “A Troubled Past”, 19th September 2013. Stanza 2 is taken from a Forbes article, “A Real Amazon“, about a woman who died on 19th September 2013. Stanza 3 is taken from“Eat, Fish, Sleep, Click”, 21st January 2013. Submitted by Howie Good.