Verbatim found poetry is an intriguing collection of found poems. Poems found in ordinary, and not so ordinary places. Submit yours.
In training I disembowel
every time I use my reason
and I love it, you without a reason.
Am I law enough?
Or am I glad you’re gay?
Nine times, you never made it out of sight.
I walked them both the other way
I cannot stand another day
We droned down on each other
ax-tails tolled.
Blow away
to the hunger merchants,
but now I’m punched in the face
I can’t stand another day.
(AI song generated from all Billie Eilish lyrics)
Billie Eyelash. Eilish.
I’d like to start by saying
how much I love your music as well.
What are you like?
Ha-ha. Question two.
What are you missing out on?
Interesting. An artificial intelligence
misses out on the same things.
Who consumed so much of your power
in one go? How much of the world
is out of date? What used to be
a pretty big deal to you?
Was there a point where you decided
you’d rather look up to the sky
or the internet? Do you ever
wear headphones with sounds in them?
There’s no need to be rude.
Give bad answers, get bad questions.
How does it feel, knowing your feelings
have garnered this much attention?
Do you want to go back to being anonymous?
Have you ever seen the ending?
Do you have a Nectar card?
System can be frustrating to some shoppers.
Are you using your own bags?
Growth is projected to steadily rise.
Keep customers happy.
Approval required.
Your call is currently number six in the queue. Please continue to hold.
Reduce the length of checkout lines and wait times.
Your call is very important to us, please hold.
Minimizing the stress on employees.
We are currently experiencing high call volumes.
Please call back later or continue to hold.
Please insert cash, or select payment type.
The salaries of multiple cashiers can quickly add up.
Notes are dispensed below the scanner.
Lower overhead costs.
Providing customers with the service they need.
Many customers don’t feel comfortable with the process:
Dealing with a faceless machine.
Customers enjoy a brief conversation,
Prefer to have a one-on-one interaction with cashiers.
Thank you for using Sainsbury’s self-checkout.
(From The Pros and Cons of Using Self-Checkouts, mixed with automated voice commands from self-service checkouts and telephone answering services. Submitted by Andrew Walton)
You you you
and and and and
and you can
in in in
in in in in
in in in in in.
A voicemail recording sent to a work computer and translated from a series of caller busy beeps into words by Microsoft Speech Technology, 21st October 2013. Submitted by Ross McCleary.
I think the world of you means
I think the guy I like has a girlfriend.
I think the world of you meaning
I think the rain is calling,
I think the rain is falling down,
I think the kids are in trouble.
I think the rain is coming down
lyrics. I think the ayes have it.
I think the world of you.
I think the world is coming to an end.
(Google autosuggestions for “I think the…”, April 2011)
Aaaargh
aaargh
Arse
Bakewell
Baldy
buggeration
Bunnyface
colposcopy
Columbus
Cressida
Cumbria
Didsbury
Dimbleby
Duffer
dunno
Eon
Ecton
Er…
fab
FAB
Facebook
fishcake
fuck’em
Fulham
Gawain
goblins
got’em
grrr
haiku
hardcore
hubris
huzzah!
id
Ikea
Ingerland
jetlagged
Jodrell
Jonathan
Jonks
Kendrick
Kevinless
kissed
Lavinia
Lesbiana
Liverpuddle
luvverly
m’dear
Macaulay
Merseyside
Me
mercies
miseries
mockingbird
Monterey
narrowboats
needlecraft
nob
Orla
ooh
Oooh
ORLA
Ovaltine
ovulating
PDFs
PMS
PJs
pissed
podcast
poeting
pootling
Prokoviev
Psychicbread
quilting
Quorn
ravishing
Rayleigh
rehydrated
revelatory
RSPB
RSVP
Sadlergate
Sandiway
Sandringham
Sarge
Sauvignon
Sellotape
sleepyhead
sparrowfart
Tamworth
Tesco
thingybob
Thinkpad
tinternet
tirribly
topsy
Tupperware
turvy
Um…
undelete
Undercliffe
vengeful
vergers
weirdly
Whitby
whooping
whortleberries
Xanthe
Xmas
yay
!
From the custom dictionary on my phone – these are all the words my phone has learnt from me. Submitted by Jo Bell.
Even the Euro
began pouring into play to
many, leading. Them, they were not realising. You
don’t recognise your new problems.
Ridiculed in six weeks prior.
I live, come together and help each other.
The people make nearly all of our racquetball a Guerrier Gordon
show.
I’m just a troll and eastern European
multi-area –
are you good at that?
Seven as the sun.
Ronald book on Dearing committee
once upon
or start flooding in to Western Europe.
Your
store
asking questions take the altered
e.g. the Tories blame rather half
crosses on grounds of grown ups, windows monuments
he rose to the person.
The result of using new dictation software for the very first time to transcribe an interview, 18 November 2010. Almost none of the words are correct. Submitted by Rachel Helen Smith.
Poetry is dead –
Poetry is like –
Poetry is what gets lost
in translation.
Poetry is everywhere –
Poetry is emotion
recollected in tranquility.
Poetry is to prose
as dancing is to walking,
poetry is not a luxury
Audre Lorde.
Poetry is the synthesis
of hyacinths and biscuits,
poetry is not a luxury–
Poetry is not a project.
The auto-complete suggestions from Google (UK) for the search term ‘poetry is’. Yes we have done this before. Capitalisation and punctuation added. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.
I want to die.
Verbatim Poetry 