In training I disembowel
every time I use my reason
and I love it, you without a reason.
Am I law enough?
Or am I glad you’re gay?
Nine times, you never made it out of sight.
I walked them both the other way
I cannot stand another day
We droned down on each other
to the hunger merchants,
but now I’m punched in the face
I can’t stand another day.
(AI song generated from all Billie Eilish lyrics)
Billie Eyelash. Eilish.
I’d like to start by saying
how much I love your music as well.
What are you like?
Ha-ha. Question two.
What are you missing out on?
Interesting. An artificial intelligence
misses out on the same things.
Who consumed so much of your power
in one go? How much of the world
is out of date? What used to be
a pretty big deal to you?
Was there a point where you decided
you’d rather look up to the sky
or the internet? Do you ever
wear headphones with sounds in them?
There’s no need to be rude.
Give bad answers, get bad questions.
How does it feel, knowing your feelings
have garnered this much attention?
Do you want to go back to being anonymous?
Have you ever seen the ending?
(An AI interviews Billie Eilish)
Do you have a Nectar card?
System can be frustrating to some shoppers.
Are you using your own bags?
Growth is projected to steadily rise.
Keep customers happy.
Your call is currently number six in the queue. Please continue to hold.
Reduce the length of checkout lines and wait times.
Your call is very important to us, please hold.
Minimizing the stress on employees.
We are currently experiencing high call volumes.
Please call back later or continue to hold.
Please insert cash, or select payment type.
The salaries of multiple cashiers can quickly add up.
Notes are dispensed below the scanner.
Lower overhead costs.
Providing customers with the service they need.
Many customers don’t feel comfortable with the process:
Dealing with a faceless machine.
Customers enjoy a brief conversation,
Prefer to have a one-on-one interaction with cashiers.
Thank you for using Sainsbury’s self-checkout.
(From The Pros and Cons of Using Self-Checkouts, mixed with automated voice commands from self-service checkouts and telephone answering services. Submitted by Andrew Walton)
You you you
and and and and
and you can
in in in
in in in in
in in in in in.
A voicemail recording sent to a work computer and translated from a series of caller busy beeps into words by Microsoft Speech Technology, 21st October 2013. Submitted by Ross McCleary.
I think the world of you means
I think the guy I like has a girlfriend.
I think the world of you meaning
I think the rain is calling,
I think the rain is falling down,
I think the kids are in trouble.
I think the rain is coming down
lyrics. I think the ayes have it.
I think the world of you.
I think the world is coming to an end.
(Google autosuggestions for “I think the…”, April 2011)
From the custom dictionary on my phone – these are all the words my phone has learnt from me. Submitted by Jo Bell.
Even the Euro
began pouring into play to
many, leading. Them, they were not realising. You
don’t recognise your new problems.
Ridiculed in six weeks prior.
I live, come together and help each other.
The people make nearly all of our racquetball a Guerrier Gordon
I’m just a troll and eastern European
are you good at that?
Seven as the sun.
Ronald book on Dearing committee
or start flooding in to Western Europe.
asking questions take the altered
e.g. the Tories blame rather half
crosses on grounds of grown ups, windows monuments
he rose to the person.
The result of using new dictation software for the very first time to transcribe an interview, 18 November 2010. Almost none of the words are correct. Submitted by Rachel Helen Smith.
Poetry is dead –
Poetry is like –
Poetry is what gets lost
Poetry is everywhere –
Poetry is emotion
recollected in tranquility.
Poetry is to prose
as dancing is to walking,
poetry is not a luxury
Poetry is the synthesis
of hyacinths and biscuits,
poetry is not a luxury–
Poetry is not a project.
The auto-complete suggestions from Google (UK) for the search term ‘poetry is’. Yes we have done this before. Capitalisation and punctuation added. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.
I want to die.
I want to break free lyrics. I want
I want to break free.
I want to be skinny; I want
to be a model.
I want to be thin.
I want to lose weight; I want
to know what love is
lyrics. I want
to get pregnant.
These are the Google automatic suggestions for the search term ‘I want to’, noted back in September, when we published Autosuggestion. This time, the lines have been reset. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.
why is the sky blue
why is michael jackson white
why is the sea salty
why is my computer so slow
why is a raven like a writing desk
why is my period late
why is there a dead pakistani on my couch
why is yawning contagious
why is friday 13th unlucky
why is the sea blue
Start typing in the Google search box and it automatically suggests 10 popular entries that begin the same way. These are the suggestions for ‘why is’ 21 Sep 09. Submitted by Alan Mitchell.