Category: articles

A City on the Edge

St. John’s is
gnawing on my bones.
You can’t take it in
with tiny sips; you have
to choke it back, you have
to swig it down. You have
to wheeze about and stagger.

In St. John’s,
the houses tumble uphill
if such a thing is possible
and the entire place-
the streets, the squares, the alleyways-
seems to have been laid out
without the aid of a ruler
(and possibly while
under the influence of screech).
From Hill O’Chips to Mile Zero,
from Water Street to the colourful homes
lined up on Jellybean Row:
the city is full of angles that
don’t
quite
add
up.

St. John’s is, as the Irish say,
“a great place to get lost in.”
Wander around long enough,
though, and you will
eventually end up
at the harbour
as surely as water flows downhill.

Great ships lie tethered, bleeding
rust into the bay,
and rising and falling
on s l o w exhalations
of water. From the pier,
the bay looks like a landlocked lake,
the Narrows sealed off by
perspective and distance.
The very air
tastes of
salt.

I am homesick for St. John’s,
and it isn’t even my home.
I miss the city and I think of it often,
the way one wonders about
a boozy uncle who comes crashing
into your life every couple of years
and then charges off,
leaving a trail of tall tales
and laughter in his wake.

It is a good city, this fishing village
on the eastern edge of
North America.

It gnaws on you.

From The City on a Rock, Will Ferguson, Macleans.ca, 21 July 2003. Submitted by Megan.

Melody of the soul

Across a nation long captivated
By Western classical music,
People reacted with remorse, outrage
And even the rare threat of a lawsuit
After Mr. Samuragochi’s revelations
That he had hired a ghostwriter since the 1990s
To compose most of his music.

The anger turned to disbelief
When the ghostwriter himself
Came forward to accuse Mr. Samuragochi
Of faking his deafness,
Apparently to win public sympathy
And shape the Beethoven persona.

The scandal has brought
An abrupt fall from grace
For Mr. Samuragochi,
A man who looked the part
Of a modern-day composer
With his long hair,
Stylish dark suits
And ever-present sunglasses.

Taken from the New York Times article, In Japan, a Beloved Deaf Composer Appears to Be None of the Above, 7 February 2014. Submitted by Mark Dzula.

Ha-Ha

The force of laughing can dislocate jaws,
prompt asthma attacks,
cause headaches, make hernias protrude.

It can provoke cardiac arrhythmia, syncope
or even emphysema (this last,
according to a clinical lecturer in 1892).

Laughter can trigger the rare but possibly grievous
Pilgaard-Dahl and Boerhaave’s syndromes.

There are choking hazards,
such as ingesting food during belly laughs.

We don’t know how much laughter is safe.

There’s probably a U-shaped curve:
laughter is good for you,
but enormous amounts are bad, perhaps.

Taken from Who Says Laughter’s the Best Medicine? in The New York Times, 20 December 2013. Submitted by Howie Good.

Breathing deeply

Buy dishes at a thrift show
and break them in a safe place.
Or put them in a paper bag
and hit with a hammer.

Draw a face of someone you’re mad at
and jump on the paper,
or tear it up. Scream.
Scream in the shower.
Scream into a pillow.

Stuff a pillowcase with grass,
draw a face on it,
and hit it. Chew gum —
imagine you are biting the person.

Do an angry dance to music.
Growl into a mirror. Make faces.

Throw a wet washcloth against the wall
in the bathtub. Squeeze a towel.
Punch a pillow. Hit a mattress
with a tennis racket. Pound clay.
Tear magazines. Tape
the bottom of your shoe
with the name of person
you are mad at and walk around.

Sometimes the body feels very tired.
Write all the bad words you can think of.

From a list of Things To Do to Express Anger Safely from the Violet Solomon Oaklander Foundation. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Ghost Moose

Some people call them “ghost moose.”
A team on call rushes to the scene by car or helicopter.
So may wolves in Minnesota and the West.

Something’s changed.
That can lead to exhaustion and death.
And no one is sure why.

“If the heart stops beating,
it sends a text message to our phone that says,
‘I’m dead at x and y coordinates,’ ”
said Dr. Butler.

And moose contribute to the economy.
In Smithers, British Columbia, in April,
a moose wandered into the flower section of a Safeway market.

The next few months may provide insight.
“It’s up to the public,” said Ms. Rines, the biologist.
“We could kill more if we want healthy moose.”

Lines selected from Moose Die-Off Alarms Scientists, The New York Times, 14 October 2013. Submitted by Howie Good.