A Pet Rock

You can look at the rock

and call it a pet,
even though it does nothing.
God does not have to live up to prayers.

He does not have to
solve world hunger, war, poverty.
He just has to sit there

and you are content.

Taken from “God, The Pet Rock“, a blogpost on RationalHub.com. Submitted by Tanya J. Reed.

I was playing D&D when I Came Out

and I don’t know if
I would have
been able to

had it not been
for the positive influence

that the game had
on me.

Why?

Because
it taught me
to be self-reliant.
It taught me to not

stand around

waiting

for some man to rescue me.

It taught me to always,
always,

check the ceiling
before entering a room.

From the LiveJournal blog of wyrmwwd. Submitted by Veronica.

Ontology

And
painters don’t
know they are.

Not
Ed Ruscha.
Not Robert Indiana.

They
just don’t
know. But they

are.
It’s good
they don’t know.

They’d
be impoverished
by their art

if
they knew.

Taken from a blogpost on the blog dbqp, 12th November 2012. “They’d” has been contracted from “They would”. Submitted by Andrew Bailey.

Redemption

Then I got up to leave
and said Stand up.
He stood. I said: Look at me.

I’m a middle aged man
with a limp and a wheeze
and a son and a wife that I love.

I’m not just a little avatar.
You’re better than this.
You have a name of your own.

Be proud of it.
Don’t hide it again
and I won’t ruin it.

Now shake hands.
‘I’m sorry.’ he said,
and looked like he meant it.

Then we shook on it.

From the blog post Meeting A Troll. Submitted by Angi Holden.

Drunkorexia

“Eatin’s Cheatin’” echoes around the office on a Friday afternoon.
Women pick over their naked salads and extra extra light low fat
Philly on Ryvita. The preparations for ‘Rosé o’clock’ are well
under way.
They’ll grumble through the afternoon and suppress the urge
to be
‘naughty’ whenever anyone offers a biscuit, sweet or chocolate.
Fun.

From Drunkorexia: A stupid name, but a serious problem on the Independent blogs. Omitted words: ‘as’ (line 1) and ‘their way’ (4). Submitted by Rishi Dastidar.

All the tattoos I want

I’ve decided that I want a japanese tattoo sleeve
starting at the shoulder
and ending at the wrist.
It will include at least a koi fish,

some kanji, a samurai sword, some nice blue
waves, a pokemon (not sure which yet, but hell maybe I’ll get two),

probably a torii, probably something small
in dedication to yu yu hakusho (not sure what). I don’t have all

the ideas yet but it will at least
be very colorful and with basically no skin color showing. And my back piece

will be dedicated to egyptian mythology;
specifically Horus and Anubis facing each other
and some nice looking egyptian-like images in the background
to bring it all together.

And honestly that’s all the tattoos I want.

A post on the White Morgan Freeman Tumblr, 20 May 2012. Submitted by Ezra.

But if the water becomes deeper still

Positioned in the water in an uncomfortable pose,
afflicted with a relatively high mean density,
suffering from substantially high frictional drag,
and unable to raise and lower its neck
and hence unable to adopt a synchronous gait,
we conclude that giraffes would be very poor swimmers,
and that it might be assumed that they would avoid
this activity if at all possible.

Testing the flotation dynamics and swimming abilities of giraffes by way of computational analysis in the Tetrapod Zoology section of scienceblogs.com. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.