Groceries or pizza?

pizza is just an easy fix
for a temporary solution

A friend’s facebook response to a shopping dilemma on March 1st 2012. Submitted by Rachel Helen Smith.

Five People Liked His Status

I swear,
to everything I got,
I’ll defend my baby
till the end.

If a short,
little motherfucker
wants to
try and threatened
her for saying
something
to a freeloading skank,
who calls her mom
a bitch,
then I got a problem
with him.

Or else what
motherfucker?
Threaten her again
and I’ll show you.

From a Facebook status last year. Submitted by B.J. Jones.

Stream

Lynsey Peterson likes we want
a Scottish flag on Facebook.

Anna Hammond Сака ли некој
да одиме во парк денес?

Rebecca Grohl commented on her own
status: Ich bin eigentlich ueberfluess…

Luke Southey is listening to
Que Veux-Tu by Yell on Spotify.

Clive Law commented on Peter Meadow’s
status: I always put too much red wine…

Natalie Southey and Ruth Garcia-Lopez
are now friends.

Russell Goodwin OMG!

From my Facebook friends latest activity stream (or whatever that short update column on the right is called) on 17 October 2011. Exactly the order in which they appeared, names altered for privacy. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Decline

Looks fab. Alas I
tame the feral youths
of Wythenshawe on Wednesdays.

Taken from a friend’s facebook page, turning down an invitation on 3rd October 2011. Submitted by Ailsa Holland.

As in life

The ship is as in life, as in death;
the ship is eternal, a symbol of this
and the life to come, of the gods,
of this middle earth.

A friend’s facebook update, 3rd May 2011. Submitted by Marika Rose.

The incident of the barbecue in the night-time

Successful barby,
christened new fire pit,
ate much tasty food,

burnt much British charcoal,
did a wheelie on a mate’s bike
(in a small garden),

went over handlebars
into (thankfully cold) barbecue,
landing on face,

drank ale. And I’m not
relishing going to work
in the morning.

A friend’s Facebook status from 3 May 2011. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Effed Up

Find more friends.
More friends are waiting.

These five friends
found their friends using
the Facebook Friend Finder.
Have you found all of your friends?
Give it a try.

Find friends

Microcopy from Facebook, spotted 9 October 2010. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Tom Hobson

Tom Hobson suggested
you become
a fan of Tom Hobson.
Tom became
a fan of Tom Hobson
on Facebook
and suggested
you become a fan too.

(The subject line and text from a Facebook email)

Called Out

LIFE IS VERY

SIMPLE REALLY
!!!!
BUT SOME OF

US HUMANS MAKE

A MESS OF IT
…
REMEMBER
AM JUST HERE

TO HAVE FUN
PARTEEEEEEE.

The Facebook status of fugitive Maxi Sopo, 21 June 09, shortly before he was arrested in Mexico having been traced through Facebook by US investigators. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Up the Wall

Hey … sending hugs!
Going to visit your mum
and friday … fun at the farm.

Found fantastic bright red sofa
for lounge will be so much fun.
Kidz in paddlin pool today yes pool
it was lovely x Paula was

given fish by fisherman at loch …
had it for their tea.
man want to give them fly fishin lessons!
joseph and Paul very keen

x love and hugs x you doin ok?

By Heather, from 5 August 2009. Facebook wall post from one friend to another. Original punctuation but with punctuation marks greatly reduced.