I Find the College

I find the college…
infinitely the best in the university;
for it is the smallest,
and it is filled with lawyers,
who have lived in the world,
and know how to behave.
Whatever may be said to the contrary,
there is certainly very little
debauchery in this university,
especially among the people of fashion.

An unattributed quotation on page 9 of ‘The University of Cambridge’, an “unofficial history produced by the University of Cambridge Board of Continuing Education for the use of participants in its courses”. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

St Agnes Smooth and Creamy

St Agnes – smooth and creamy with bananas
to the fore in aroma and taste.
Smoky malt overtones subside as
increasing bitterness dominates
a gently receding finish. Comrade
Bill Bartram’s Egalitarian
Anti-Imperialist Soviet Stout –
a bold and tasty Russian stout with
a mouthfilling, airy texture and a lot
of enjoyable, peppery, bitter
chocolate flavours. Umbel Magna –
coriander is added to the Old
Growler wort to complete this original
seventeen-fifties’ recipe. The subtle
spiciness adds to the appeal of this
rich, dark porter. Ported Porter – an old-style
porter. Smooth and creamy, spiked with port to
give it the flavour of dark berries. Spingo
Bragget – this beer gets its deceptively
smooth, sweet taste from apples and honey but
beware – it isn’t a beer for lightweights.
Old Stoatwobbler – strong, dark and luscious. Complex
and fruity with a smooth, soft finish. Vegan.
Eight Hundred Years of Innovation –
gruit ale, sweet gale, wormwood, caraway and
wild rosemary are used instead of hops
to flavour this ale. It is said gruit ale
stimulates the mind, creates euphoria
and enhances sexual drive. Golden
Shower – sorry, no tasting notes available.

A selection of ales and their tasting notes from the Thirty-Sixth Cambridge Beer Festival Programme. A poem made purely from the beer names to follow. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

A Network of Flu Friends

Flu friends are neighbours,
friends and relatives
who can help you

if you get ill.

For example, they
could collect medicines,
food and other supplies for you,
so that you don’t
have to leave home

if you are ill.

(Some of the symptoms are
the sudden onset of
fever, cough or shortness of breath.)

From ‘Important Information About Swine Flu’ – a leaflet distributed nationally last week by the UK government – pages 7 and 9. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.