Hose on Charlie’s Nose

–Drip. Drip. Drip.

Charlie, can I ask you a favour?
will it be alright if I stick my hose
on the end of your nose
because we need a lot more water
to wash the soap off Button Moon.

Of course you can Small. Come on,
Charlie, get ready to be turned on.

–I don’t want a hose
on the end of my nose.
I’ll look like an elephant.

O but Charlie, just think,
you’ll be doing a great job.
Your cold water will be cleaning
Button Moon.

Please Charlie.

–Alright Small,
just for you.
Go on.
Stick it on.

Small, when you’re ready
for Charlie to be turned on
you just call out
and I’ll get soggy cloth.
He spends most of his time
sitting over there in that soap dish.
It’s about time he did some work.

Sorry Captain Large,
I’ve got the other end of the hose
but I don’t know what to do with it.

–Look Small, we’re running out of time
so you give me the hose and I’ll do it
while you operate the remote control.

You might as well get ready to turn him on.
Slurp. Slurp. Slurp.

–Oh well done Small.
Now you can press the button
nice and slow.

I’ve never worked these before.


My kids were watching Button Moon and the dialogue caught my ear. Button Moon is a British children’s TV series with puppets broadcast in the 1980s. The dialogue above is from the episode ‘Hose on Charlie’s Nose.’ Submitted by Gabriel Smy.