Be mine

Why’ve you got so many pictures of Maria –
she your girlfriend or summat?
Yes, she is.
So have you had sex with her?
No.
Have you felt her bazookas?
No.
Well obviously, it being your girlfriend
you’ve kissed her, yeah?
Not yet.
Well mate, in England
it’s sorta like a tradition
for, like, a girlfriend to kiss her boyfriend
so it sounds to me like you’re not actually with her
you just like her.

In Poland you mustn’t kiss to be together
and to think only about one thing.

But mate, we’re not in Poland:
this is England.

Dialogue from Somers Town (2008). Submitted by Marika Rose.