Let it be known

I leave this vessel
for the lowest of the low
not only as a testament
to the act of your human transgression
but also as a tomb,
a tomb for you.

So that when you are near death
your smallness can climb in
through the hole you left
where the spout once was
and lay yourself down
in the vacuous space
and die a thieves death alone,
pitiless, without a single soul
to remember you.

You will take your last breath
void of any true feelings
of love or decency for others.

(A note on an antique in a Michigan store)

Mine Host

No thieves, fakirs, rogues or tinkers
No skulking loafers or flea-bitten tramps
No slap an’ tickle o’ the wenches
No banging o’ tankards on the tables
No dogs allowed in the kitchen
No cockfighting

Fintlocks, cudgels, daggers and swords
to be handed to
the innkeeper for safe-keeping.

A poster spotted in a pub in Berwick upon Tweed, 25th August 2011. Submitted by Marika Rose.


read it


NO sisters and apsolutley NO brothers

Just sisters

Just for today

and me

A notice blu-tacked to the sitting room door by my son, aged seven, 24 February 2011. It was half term. Submitted by Amy.

Contractor’s Code

As far as possible, works
are to be carried out
in such a way that
noise and
dust are
kept to a minimum,
and at times which will minimise
the effect on
city workers,
residents and

Footways and carriageways affected
by works are to be
kept in a
tidy and
safe condition.
Hoardings, scaffolds, warning lights
and other features are to be
clean and

All work will be carried out safely
and in such a way that it will
not inconvenience
pedestrians or
other road users.
Special care will be taken to make sure that
pedestrians with sight,
hearing or
mobility difficulties are
not inconvenienced or endangered
and that access is maintained for those
in wheelchairs or
pushing prams.

The main contractor is to ensure that
suppliers and
others working on, or near the site,
maintain the standards of the Code of Practice.

By Huw, taken from a building site hoarding in Tower Hamlets, London, on the 5th June 2010.