Cold hands

Feel me ‘ands.
Go on, feel em.
Freezing.
I’ve got gloves in me bag,
can’t wear em.
Make me ‘ands cold.
Got em off our Mandy for Christmas.
I’ll wear them next week though.
Going down to see our Mandy.
Look at me fingers.
Blue wi’ cold they are.
Feel me ‘ands.
They’re freezing.

A customer in my place of work, January 2013. By Pauline.

Valentine

You haven’t forgotten
Anastasia
Marina
Natasha
have you?
i hope you stay well.

will you be my valentine?
there are no
obligations.
no fee to pay

this chance comes just once
in a lifetime
again
this chance comes
just once
in a lifetime

Svetlana is waiting.

A compilation of various subject lines from my Spam box. By Mr. Wilson.

Kinship and Community

Him

In our turning we do this, that or the other. I’ve lived in this turning for fifty years,
and here I intend to stay. They’re new here they’ve only been here eighteen years.

I’ve got friends at work and friends at sport and friends I have a drink with. I know
all the people around here, and I’m not invited into anyone else’s home either.

It doesn’t seem right somehow. Your home’s your own.

They’re all related in this street. It’s awful, you can’t talk to anyone in the street about any of the others,
but you find it’s a relative. You have to be very careful.

Her

It’s friendly here. You can’t hardly ever go out without meeting someone you know. Often it’s someone you were at school with.

Since we’ve had the children I’ve got no more friends – outside the family I mean.
I don’t see my best friend much. She’s married too, and she’s always round

her Mum’s like I’m always round mine. Since we’ve had the baby, I’ve got no men friends – outside the family, that is.

Direct quotes from the research commentary in Family and Kinship in East London, by Michael Young and Peter Willmott (Pelican Books, 1957). By Peter Raynard.

Mythologise Anything

A recent exhibition of the work
of American artist Jeff Koons was
called Everything’s Here. I subscribe to that
worldview: you can live on “lipgloss and
cigarettes”. There are more references to
TV shows and showbiz entertainers

in my songs than references to the
Greek myths but it’s all valid. You can
mythologise anything if you put
your mind to it. In a way it’s more fun
to look for profundity in something
that’s not designed to have it. Or maybe

that’s just awkwardness on my part – I do
have a tendency towards that. When I
was nine years old, we were learning how to
draw bar charts at school when the teacher
decided to construct one based on the
times we got up in the morning to get

ready for school. For some reason I was
determined to have a bar on the graph
all to myself and so claimed to rise at
6am every morning (which was an
obvious lie as I was usually at
least five minutes late each day). The teacher

was sceptical but let it go and, much
to my satisfaction, I got my own
exclusive bar. I don’t know why I was
so determined to be different from all
the other members of my class, but it
felt important to me. Perhaps it still

is. But I’d like to think that it was more
than mere cussedness on my part, that it
was the start of a sensibility,
a desire to look in the less obvious
places – less obvious because they were
right under your nose. Pulp was the perfect

name for the band because this was an attempt
to find meaning in the mass-produced and
throwaway world that was, after all, what
we were surrounded by on a daily
basis. To sift through and find some beauty
in it all. Take a look – it is there.

From Jarvis Cocker: the secrets of Pulp’s songs. By Marika Rose.

I was playing D&D when I Came Out

and I don’t know if
I would have
been able to

had it not been
for the positive influence

that the game had
on me.

Why?

Because
it taught me
to be self-reliant.
It taught me to not

stand around

waiting

for some man to rescue me.

It taught me to always,
always,

check the ceiling
before entering a room.

From the LiveJournal blog of wyrmwwd. By Veronica.

Wanted

Easy Work! Excellent Pay!
Must be able to service the greater Northwestern area
Must have ability to climb poles
Must be willing to work varying hours and days

Must be a highly motivated, honest and aggressive self-starter
Must be able to service the greater Northwestern area
Must be clean, reliable, good with people, and have good morals
Must be willing to work varying hours and days

Must be hardworking and have own truck and tools.
Must be a highly motivated, honest and aggressive self-starter
Must be a skilled, “hands-on” person with a desire to create quality product
Must be clean, reliable, good with people, and have good morals

Assemble products at home.
Must be hardworking and have own truck and tools.
Must be fun, and energetic with a customer-service attitude
Must be a skilled, “hands-on” person with a desire to create quality product

Must be an aggressive, motivated, enthusiastic, retired military officer
Assemble products at home.
No experience or training required.
Must be fun, and energetic with a customer-service attitude

No phone calls please.
Must be an aggressive, motivated, enthusiastic retired military officer
Must be bondable and know federal regulations
No experience or training required.

Must be familiar with procedures and equipment
No phone calls please.
Must be trustworthy, dependable and possess leadership ability
Must be bondable and know federal regulations

Prefer high school graduate
Must be familiar with procedures and equipment
Earn money at home reading books.
Must be trustworthy, dependable and possess leadership ability

Must comprehend English well and be in good physical shape
Prefer high school graduate
Must be an ambitious, level-headed problem-solver
Must be trustworthy, dependable and possess leadership ability

Must be friendly and zippy
Must comprehend English well and be in good physical shape
Must have a neat and clean appearance.
Must be an ambitious, level-headed problem-solver

Will train.
Must be friendly and zippy
We want some hard working, clear thinking, basically good people.
Must have a neat and clean appearance.

Must be outgoing, ambitious, patient, and work well with children
Will train.
Must be dependable, enthusiastic, reliable, highly motivated, articulate and well-dressed
We want some hard working, clear thinking, basically good people.

$4.50 per hour (depending on experience)
Must be outgoing, ambitious, patient, and work well with children
Must be well-groomed and able to drive a stick-shift.
Must be dependable, enthusiastic, reliable, highly motivated, articulate and well-dressed

Easy Work! Excellent Pay!
Must have ability to climb poles

From the want ads in the San Francisco Chronicle, 1991, arranged into a pantoum. First published in Trade Trax, the newsletter of an organisation called Tradeswomen. By Lita Kurth.