If you can’t play,
Don’t.
If you can,
Do so quietly.
Sign on a piano in a used furniture store in Charleston, South Carolina. Submitted by Paul Bowers.
If you can’t play,
Don’t.
If you can,
Do so quietly.
Sign on a piano in a used furniture store in Charleston, South Carolina. Submitted by Paul Bowers.
is a
small, narrow
pyramidal muscle
located at
the medial end
of the eyebrow.
Its fibers
pass upward
and laterally.
Regarded
as the principal
muscle of suffering
the muscle is
sometimes severed
or paralyzed with
botulinium toxin
as treatment for migraine
or for aesthetic reasons.
From the Wikipedia entry for Corrugator supercilii muscle. Submitted by Dawn Corrigan.
When these birds move their wings in flight,
their strokes are slow, moderate and regular,
and even when at a considerable distance
or high above us, we plainly hear the quill-feathers,
their shafts and webs upon one another,
creak as the joints or
working of a vessel in a tempestuous sea.
We had this fowl dressed for supper
and it made excellent soup;
nevertheless as long as I can get any other
necessary food I shall prefer his
seraphic music in the ethereal skies.
William Bartram, in Travels Through North & South Carolina, Georgia, East & West Florida, the Cherokee Country, the Extensive Territories of the Muscogulges, or Creek Confederacy, and the Country of the Chactaws. Spelling modernised. Submitted by Dawn Corrigan.
The ocean is empty
again. Here and there
a small galaxy of scales
marks where a bluefin
swallowed a herring.
The victim’s scales
swirl in the turbulence
of the departed
tuna now bearing off at
high speed. Then each vortex
slows and stops. The sinking
scales gleam like diamonds
from a spilled necklace
then they dim. Finally
they wink out at depth.
From Quicksilver, Kenneth Brower, March 2014, National Geographic. Submitted by James Brush.
We
are
becoming more
and more relaxed
with uncertainty, more and more
relaxed with groundlessness, more and more relaxed with
not having walls around us to keep us
protected in a little box
or cocoon.—Enlightenment
we do
not
have.
From The Bearable Lightness of Being by Pema Chödrön, March 2014, Shambhala Sun. Submitted by Ali Znaidi.
Picture this.
A man spends a
long bus journey
groaning over a very full bladder.
The bus finally pulls into a station
for a brief stop
and the guy rushes out,
leaving his bag on board.
But there’s a problem:
all the toilets are closed.
He runs around,
one muscle-twitch
away from humiliation,
looking for someone to open them.
Then, out of the corner of his eye,
he sees the bus pulling away,
with his possessions.
It’s a dilemma worthy
(well, almost)
of Hamlet:
to pee or not to pee?
Taken from ‘Stage Struck: Frankly, my dear, you gotta make ’em give a damn‘ in The Irish Times, 3 April 2014. Submitted by Taidgh Lynch.
At the top
is a clear-eyed maiden
whose lips smile joy.
Below,
and to the left, framed
in long hair
is a horribly sensuous face,
one
eye closed in a leer
above
thick slobbering lips.
Next, is the stupid fat face
of a glutton. Then comes
the hard cold face
of a woman not much
older than the young girl above,
the fifth
face. In the narrow
ell of the house,
behind her is that embittered
old man with cruel eyes,
his hairy moustache
cushioning bulbous jaws.
A description from a file in Denver Public Library of stone carvings on an old Colorado brothel. Via Soiled Doves: Prostitution in the Early West by Anne Seagraves (1994, Wesanne Publications). ‘Cushioned’ changed to ‘cushioning’. Submitted by Angela Readman.
My mother is ninety and likes
To wear a nice dress.
But she is tiny.
Size ten, and only five feet tall, she likes
Colour, nothing too clingy.
And needs a collar.
She would also like some nonslip
Ankle boots that are
Size four and a half.
Please help.
Nobody seems to cater for
Small, slim people of a certain age
Who are not terrifically flexible.
Do not want low necklines.
Do not like black and beige.
Taken from the “Wardrobe Mistress” column in the Sunday Times’ Style Magazine, 29 September 2013. Submitted by Kirsten Luckens.
I’ve shown you how to chip,
I’ve shown you how to chop,
I’ve shown you how to dice and slice.
These sad people who spend
all their time chopping stuff up
in the kitchen – all you need’s just
three cuts across like this.
You won’t find an onion chopper any quicker!
They’re not cheap.
If you’re looking for cheap stuff getahtofere.
I’ve been using this same machine
on my demonstrations for fifteen years.
And you get a free spirally cutter, look –
you can use the peel for earrings.
There’s a booklet with both words and pictures
so if you can’t read the words, just look at the pictures.
They’re £24.95 on TV,
so you’re saving almost a fiver.
If you can’t afford it today,
stick to the knife,
don’t bother me,
Not bein’ rude,
but I don’t have to live in your house.
The patter of a cockney guy demonstrating an elaborate kitchen vegetable cutting machine in Wood Green Shopping City, London, 2004. Submitted by Richard Tyrone Jones.
The look of
the moment
Infinity scarves
Sign in the Juniors department of Target, 1 March 2014. Submitted by J.R. Solonche.
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