Let it be known

I leave this vessel
for the lowest of the low
not only as a testament
to the act of your human transgression
but also as a tomb,
a tomb for you.

So that when you are near death
your smallness can climb in
through the hole you left
where the spout once was
and lay yourself down
in the vacuous space
and die a thieves death alone,
pitiless, without a single soul
to remember you.

You will take your last breath
void of any true feelings
of love or decency for others.

(A note on an antique in a Michigan store)

Mine Host


No thieves, fakirs, rogues or tinkers
No skulking loafers or flea-bitten tramps
No slap an’ tickle o’ the wenches
No banging o’ tankards on the tables
No dogs allowed in the kitchen
No cockfighting

Fintlocks, cudgels, daggers and swords
to be handed to
the innkeeper for safe-keeping.



A poster spotted in a pub in Berwick upon Tweed, 25th August 2011. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Détente

read it

KEEP OUT

NO sisters and apsolutley NO brothers

Just sisters

Just for today
Brothers
allowed

and me
Freddie

A notice blu-tacked to the sitting room door by my son, aged seven, 24 February 2011. It was half term. Submitted by Amy.

This house


Council is example of bureaucracy gone mad
Council devoid of common sense
Different rules for different folk
Planners are sterile bureaucratic vandals.

Gateshead planners are philistines
Gateshead planners think 400 votes count for nothing
Thank you –
Not surprising to have more local support than elected councillors.

The buffoons
Can’t see
Won’t listen
Don’t speak

Your local councillors
Who do they think they work for
Council’s abuse of powers lamentable
Council are not even handed
Councillors are devoid of grey matter.

Wrong use of power
Planners cannot loose face
Surprise surprise this lot want our votes

This house is detrimental to the area.

From signs plastered all over the windows of a house in Gateshead, 4th May 2010. Submitted by Marika Rose.