Index

Ftse.
He LOVE printer.
He SCARED clingfilm.
Ftse.

A friend’s twitter update about her cat, Ftse, on 13th January 2010. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Cars parked on the pavement

Cars parked on the pavement in Benchill
1 minute ago

Theft of cash from a garage in Salford
1 minute ago

Theft from a car in Bolton
2 minutes ago

Fail to stop collision, two cars, damage only, no injuries, Salford
2 minutes ago

Abandoned car in south Manchester
2 minutes ago

Neighbour dispute in Wigan
2 minutes ago

Harassment by ex-partner in Stockport
2 minutes ago

Neighbour dispute in Rochdale
2 minutes ago

Report of man asleep in toilets in theatre when asked he left
3 minutes ago

Domestic issue in Oldham
3 minutes ago

Antisocial behaviour – youths throwing things at cars in Bolton
3 minutes ago

Report of abandoned animal in Salford
3 minutes ago

Customer refusing to leave shop, Bolton
3 minutes ago

Information regarding an annoying letter
4 minutes ago

From the Greater Manchester Police twitter feed, publishing every event it dealt with over a 24-hour period ending 15 October 2010. Submitted by Nick Asbury.

Whale Tale

I am. Losing.
My edge. To
better looking exhibits,
with blinking lights,
and ironic, interactivity.

From the NYC Natural History Museum’s blue whale Twitter stream, 30 July 2010. By Marika Rose.

When I Saw It

I enjoyed this film when I saw it,
but it didn’t last.
It didn’t last…

need to cry,
don’t know why
when will the melancholy lift?

Two tweets combined from @drgonzolives, submitted by Liz.

Alfrot Muses

Today, a fishmonger
On the central line.
With gills.
(Sigh.)

Reality:
Despot, magistrate,
Mother. Never colludes
In my defiant fantasies.

Another tweet from @alfrot, 7 September 2009. Submitted by John Whittaker.

Who Are You Looking For?

Who are you looking for?
Penelope Twee –
Search for a username,
first or last name.
Did you mean Penelope Tree?
We
couldn’t find anyone named
Penelope Twee.

Who are you looking for?
Gilbert Same –
Search for a username,
first or last name.
Did you mean Gilbert Lee?
We
couldn’t find anyone named
Gilbert Same.

Who are you looking for?
John Bob Bobson –
Hmm. Our
name search server seems
to have wandered off.

Who are you looking for?
Wigan Pier –
Sorry, but
you’ve reached your limit
on searches for now.

Microcopy on the Twitter Find People page when I entered the names above, 2009.

Ladies Three

Fell on a lady on tube
who smiled.

Helped another with a bag
who effused.

Sat opposite a third
who politely

ignored me.

A Twitter post from @alfrot, 9 July 2009.