Index

Ftse.
He LOVE printer.
He SCARED clingfilm.
Ftse.

A friend’s twitter update about her cat, Ftse, on 13th January 2010. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Cars parked on the pavement

Cars parked on the pavement in Benchill
1 minute ago

Theft of cash from a garage in Salford
1 minute ago

Theft from a car in Bolton
2 minutes ago

Fail to stop collision, two cars, damage only, no injuries, Salford
2 minutes ago

Abandoned car in south Manchester
2 minutes ago

Neighbour dispute in Wigan
2 minutes ago

Harassment by ex-partner in Stockport
2 minutes ago

Neighbour dispute in Rochdale
2 minutes ago

Report of man asleep in toilets in theatre when asked he left
3 minutes ago

Domestic issue in Oldham
3 minutes ago

Antisocial behaviour – youths throwing things at cars in Bolton
3 minutes ago

Report of abandoned animal in Salford
3 minutes ago

Customer refusing to leave shop, Bolton
3 minutes ago

Information regarding an annoying letter
4 minutes ago

Selected from the Greater Manchester Police twitter feed, publishing every event it dealt with over a 24-hour period ending 15 October 2010. Submitted by Nick Asbury.

Whale Tale

I am. Losing.
My edge. To
better looking exhibits,
with blinking lights,
and ironic, interactivity.

Taken from the Twitter stream of the NYC National History Museum’s blue whale (via the Guardian Guide), 30th July 2010. Submitted by Marika Rose.

When I Saw It

I enjoyed this film when I saw it,
but it didn’t last.
It didn’t last…

need to cry,
don’t know why
when will the melancholy lift?

By Liz, who combined two tweets from @drgonzolives, with a hyperlink removed.

Alfrot Muses

Today, a fishmonger
On the central line.
With gills.
(Sigh.)

Reality:
Despot, magistrate,
Mother. Never colludes
In my defiant fantasies.

Another tweet from @alfrot, on 7 September 2009 from TinyTwitter. His first here. Submitted by John Whittaker.

Who Are You Looking For?

Who are you looking for?
Penelope Twee –
Search for a username,
first or last name.
Did you mean Penelope Tree?
We
couldn’t find anyone named
Penelope Twee.

Who are you looking for?
Gilbert Same –
Search for a username,
first or last name.
Did you mean Gilbert Lee?
We
couldn’t find anyone named
Gilbert Same.

Who are you looking for?
John Bob Bobson –
Hmm. Our
name search server seems
to have wandered off.

Who are you looking for?
Wigan Pier –
Sorry, but
you’ve reached your limit
on searches for now.

These are the words, in order, on the Find People page of Twitter and what happened when I entered the names above. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Ladies Three

Fell on a lady on tube
who smiled.
Helped another with a bag
who effused.
Sat opposite a third
who politely
ignored me.

Andrew has wittingly contributed three poems to this blog so far. Now, unwittingly, a fourth: this his twitter post, July 9th from TinyTwitter (PS. hope you’re enjoying your honeymoon, Andrew). Submitted by Gabriel Smy.