Verbatim found poetry is an intriguing collection of found poems. Poems found in ordinary, and not so ordinary places. Submit yours.
Intend to work
analytically, confidently
in
an ambitious and self
motivating atmosphere,
which would lead to
overall development
of my personality,
thus serving
the esteemed organization
efficiently, ultimately
paving a path to
a long lasting
and rewarding relationship.
A career objective in the C.V. of an applicant hoping to join my company this week. Submitted by Alan Mitchell.
Jana offers the following assessment:
You know, I wouldn’t say you
doing the dishes for me
is better than sex…but it’s close.
I laugh and laugh.
I understand, I say,
You know,
I bet if we called all your friends tonight
and asked them the question,
‘Would you rather have sex
with your husband tonight
or have him wash the dishes?’
that 100% would say
‘Wash the dishes.’
She agrees.
But I have a crazy idea.
Let’s put this to the test! I say,
Let’s call your friends and pose the question.
So Jana starts making calls.
Asking wife after wife the question:
If you could have sex with your husband tonight
or have him do the dishes
what would you choose?
The results rolled in.
Like election night.
And the verdict?
100%
Do the dishes.
From the blog Experimental Theology, 2 August 2010. Submitted by Marika Rose.
Tom Hobson suggested
you become
a fan of Tom Hobson.
Tom became
a fan of Tom Hobson
on Facebook
and suggested
you become a fan too.
The subject line and text from a Facebook email.
Be in sharp focus and clear.
Be taken of the full head. Not wear
glasses if the frames cover your eyes. Be
a colour photo (we
will not accept black and white).
Be taken against a light
grey or cream background. Not be
damaged, torn or marked. Be free
from redeye. Be facing for-
ward and looking straight. Have your
eyes open. Be free of any reflection or glare.
Not wear sunglasses, or have your hair
across your eyes. Be a true
likeness of you.
From the standards for UK driving licence photos according to the application form.
November. Zulu Hotel, Quebec.
Oscar tango Juliet, echo foxtrot.
Yankee papa – golf, whiskey.
India sierra. Alfa Romeo.
Uniform xray “Victor” Mike
– kilo charlie.
Bravo.
Making a story out of the NATO phonetic alphabet. Lima Delta is a derogatory term in the military.
A Shiver of Fear,
The Song of Thunder Where the Quaggy Bends
Beware! Beware! Scribble Boy! A World of Fairy Tales,
Flying Upside Down and Inky Pinky Ponky,
The Sterkarm Handshake and The Subtle Knife
but not The Carpenter or the Lion Adventure or the Hard Way Home
Reading the bookshelves in Homerton College library. Submitted by Bec.
Police, police, Henry and Frankie.
Oh, oh, dog biscuits and when he
is happy he doesn’t get snappy.
I am a pretty good pretzler.
Winifred. Department of Justice.
I even get it from the department.
Please, I had nothing with him.
He was a cowboy in one
of the seven-days-a-week fight.
There are only ten of us. There ten million
fighting somewhere of you, so get your onions up
and we will throw up the truce flag.
No payrolls, no walls, no coupons.
That would be entirely out.
Oh, sir, get the doll a roofing.
The sidewalk was in trouble and the bears
were in trouble and I broke it up.
A boy has never wept nor dashed a thousand kim.
Please crack down on the Chinaman’s friends
and Hitler’s commander. I am sure and I am going up
and I am going to give you honey if I can.
I am half crazy. They won’t let me get up.
They dyed my shoes. Open those shoes.
Give me something. I am so sick.
I will settle the indictment. Come on,
open the soap duckets. The chimney sweeps.
Talk to the sword. Shut up, you got a big mouth!
Please help me up, Henry. Max, come over
here. French-Canadian bean soup.
I want to pay. Let them leave me alone.
The final words of New York gangster Dutch Shultz, dying from a gunshot wound, 1935.
5.12.09
Along time ago
There livd a soc pupit
And he lovd chocolate.
But wen he open The cubud
There was no chocolate.
Sow The soc pupit went To The shops
But in The shops
They had rund out.
sow the Soc pupit went bac home
wiv no chocolate.
he lookt on the Top shelf
And he sor
A chocolate Bar.
The End
A story for my birthday, written by my 6-year-old.
and as i wrote the previous entry
my battery goes dead and obama walks past
with a very grim expression, everyone
thought he was storming out but no
he’d just been in talks with the chinese.
just now a french delegate tells me that
brazil has stormed out of the talks.
this is all so sad. still peace and goodwill
to all men. love and understanding.
just no more business as usual ok??
this is all starting to really feel like
some enormous vaguely pointless corporate expo.
Thom Yorke on the Radiohead blog, 18 December 2009, reporting from the UN Climate Change Conference.
Ten years ago. Stock takers; thieves in Hexham
resorted to extreme measures to avoid
punishment, by stealing a set of stocks
and a pillory from outside the Old Gaol.
Fifty years ago. Head case; A thief stole the
shrunken head of a South American Indian
from a wall of the Fox and Hounds in Whitley
Chapel, where Fred Gazzani was landlord.
Seventy-five years ago. In the dark;
Defying the wishes of the parish
and county councils, a packed meeting
voted against a scheme to install
electric lighting in Allendale.
One hundred and twenty-five years ago.
Carte blanche; Hexham labourer George Wilson
was fined five shillings for not having a name
on a cart he was using on the highway.
From the ‘Looking Back’ column in the Hexham Courant, Friday 29 May 2009.
Verbatim Poetry 
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