Dear Shirley

Olive Garden’s new breadstick bun sandwiches
are makdeplanedg their debut
across AmBelaica this week

cashede of these days disbelieving June,
I thchengk you should plashedch yourself
somewhgonofe and then follow
an Olive Garden truck.

I suppose they will make it to
Tucsfertilisations, Ariz.,
but I am not sure if any of them
will get to the Forks.

I dbordered’t know about you, Shirley,
but I always have enjoyed the skIshtarny
breadstick buns with soup and/or salad
foundlings Olive Garden …

Thexemptionse will be people who
cbioecologisttJapanizationsue
gobblgrandparenthoodg
up the unlimited sklampreynianions buns.

Thbackhause probably will be people
optcloaksg for the new fentrantstblended
bun sandwiches.

Nobody federalization Olive Garden
evcheesed asked me whgroups I thought.
I just wrote down some

obsanathematisingvingrowthsienswathes
three years ago and ended up braided
nbufferedifaintheartednessal televisidefencive shows.

This is a crazy world we live grotesquery.
We stopped exalters this Olive Garden
for a ldespoile denamelingsngone.

We all had the soup and salad,
and it was vLatinisesy good.
We noticed thintegral the bread sticks

winjunctivee diffdivisionent
from othdecrepitly Olive Gardens’.
They seemed to have less
buttimmoderation and garlic.

The scontemporizingvice was a bit slow,
but it was adequcommiserativee.
The restaurant was busy,
even highwayman a lchillnesse hour.

The place was clean
and nicely
decoradolescentsed.

(Almost invisibly small text on a phishing email. Submitted by Manfred Gabriel and Dale Wisely)

The Great Illuminati Family

Hello

I am Sir Victor smith

I am one of the agents
Sent by the high priest
To bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the Illuminati
To the great Illuminati temple.

I am a business man

I own companies all over the world but I was once like you

I could not even feed my family
What kind of life was that to live

I lived in poverty
Until I saw an opportunity
To be a member of the great Illuminati Family.

And I took my chances
And I have been a member for close to seven years now

Illuminati makes your business / careers grow
These and many more other benefits

So if you are interested write me via my mail:
victorsmith101@yahoo.com

(A website comment for moderation; not published. Submitted by Tim Benjamin)

Louboutin pas cher

Sometimes weak
with your face about powerful creatures
their assailants, louboutin pas cher

Numerous times
for more information on forg louboutin
et the fear, forget escape

People call
this condition called scared no point
Qin Feng today, everywhere

In the such and all, in one state

(WordPress spam. Submitted by Ffion Lindsay)

Attention Dear Respected One

Greetings in Jesus name Amen!
Private Message, important message you.
Prayed over select name among other
names due to esteeming nature.

I am account officer south Korea government
accounts discovered most account dormant
account on further investigation particular account
belong former president PARK CHUNG HEE, rule
1963-1979. I am widow being lost husband.

Aware relation born 2nd February 1951, last
address West Africa? Father General Jonas
Savimbi rebel leader control diamond regions
Angola 27 years successfully. Narrowly escaped
tsunami affected spinal cord also ear drum claim
lifes entire family. Simeon Arag died in estate.

New desire assist helpless. First box 200KG
of 22 Karrat alluvia gold dust second ($40
million U.S. dollars). Disguised “Family Treasure.”
This thereby triggers procedure reverting
ownership funds to her majesty’s government.
Known condition I make foundation
orphanages widows propagate word of God.

Need assurance you never, never cheat as fund
hit in your account. Transaction totally free of risk.
Forward: Full Name: Sex: any Contact Address.
Not destroy my chance, if not work with me
lets move on not destroy me. What shall it profit
man to wine the whole world and loose his soul?

A collation of various scam emails. Submitted by Hao Guang Tse.

Valentine

You haven’t forgotten
Anastasia
Marina
Natasha
have you?
i hope you stay well.

will you be my valentine?
there are no
obligations.
no fee to pay

this chance comes just once
in a lifetime
again
this chance comes
just once
in a lifetime

Svetlana is waiting.

A compilation of various subject lines from my Spam box. Submitted by Mr. Wilson.

Russian Girls in Love

Hello, gentleman!
I will be honest with you
I tell that I can’t see a future
that does not include you.

I feel great inspiration every time
when I see you I feel scared
that your heart isn’t single
that you won’t want to build
romantic relations with me.

But from other hand,
I try to forget about all fears
to believe that you are the man of my dream
that I am a woman beyond your dreams.

It was not the easy step for me
to write to you this letter.
I didn’t used to get acquainted with strangers
especially through the internet.

But I am very disappointed into real life
where I can’t meet a good man and
I can’t build love and family.
I decided to change
something in my life
and this first change is
my letter to you.

you won’t stay cold
you will be touched with
my sincere and romantic letter.
I am always ready to write
to you a reply to continue
our romantic acquaintance.

Taken from a spam email. Submitted by Karen Greenbaum-Maya.

No Comment

A large percentage of what you claim
happens to be astonishingly accurate
and it makes me ponder why I hadn’t
looked at this in this light previously.

This article really did turn the light
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not necessarily too cozy with

so whilst I make an effort to reconcile
that with the main theme of your point, permit
me to see exactly what all the rest
of your visitors have to point out.

A spam comment from the blog SmyWord. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

DEAR COMPETENT

There are a lot of secret camera which
in my house,
in my toilet,
in my bedroom,
in my bathroom,
at my clothes
and in my eye glasses
from 2002 until now.
In turkey businessman
Yahya and his son Avni
spy me seven days and twenty-four hours.

I apply to public prosecutor
at many times.
But public prosecutor of turkey doesn’t
do something until now.

They know where I am
and my life is in hell
by the Yahya and Fetullah’s friends

they put urine of bottle on my road.
somebody drives car direct on me.
somebody threaten me sometimes.

I always see disabled human on my road.
thus they destroy my psychology.
prostitute always disturb me.
somebody blaspheme to my father and mother.
A lot of people laugh to me.

This psychology war
are done by Yahya in 2002-2006.
from the 2007 this psychology war
is done by the Fetullah and newspaper’s man
which name is Zaman.
Fetullah’s friends threaten me
everytime.

I apply to prime minister TAYYİP,
president of the republic ABDULLAH,
Office of the prosecutor,
justice minister
and police department,

All of them didn’t do anything.
I want you to help me.

YOURS FAİTHFULLY

Bizarre email spam received on 26 September 2011, with last names removed to allow for the slim possibility that these are real people. Submitted by Tom Cashman.

Strumpet

hushed homes
dishevelled and stuck
with oxlips, primroses, cowslips, violets, and
TeenInPinkBikiniStrippingOnWebcam
manifoldness and steadfastness of the universe
is as truly whoring trade

Taken from spam email on the 24th January 2011. Submitted by Laura.

Legendary Tales of Your Sausage

Get a longer and more robust pole,
Grow your organ into a monster.
Big d1cks get all the chicks;
Your long and hard rod will please her.

Get more length, girth and hardness,
Impress your huge size on her;
Make your underpants bulge today,
Give her the best experience ever.

Better sex with organ pills:
You will reach far deeper inside her.
Bang her till she passes out,
Bang her longer and harder.

Surprise everyone with your increased length,
Cumming has never been stronger.
Be the man every woman desires:
This will make you longer.

Subject lines picked from my Gmail spam folder in the last 10 days, including the title. What happened to all the innocent spam? Submitted by Gabriel Smy.