In the Vegetable Orchestra

Then, let’s introduce
the vegetable musical instruments
that can have been done this time.

It is a carrot ocarina first. And,
it is an ocarina of a white radish
in Japan that can have done this time.

The broccoli ocarina was made.
A good sound was not heard because
only such a broccoli was obtained this time.

And, a carrot ocarina of the slide type.
When the breath is put here,
something is heard. It shaped … so …

The paprika was punctured.
When the breath is put here,
such a sound is heard. It is an owl.

Similarly asparagus panpipe was made.
However, a good sound is not heard.
It is a trumpet of the cucumber

and the paprika in the end. There were
musical instruments that looked
alike also in the vegetable orchestra.

Subtitles on YouTube video Introduction of handmade vegetable musical instruments. Suggested by Jason Davies.

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Recent spam comments on my content strategy blog, authors names in parentheses.

Teatime at Everybody

The cake

which my mama burned
is what is more delicious
than the cake of the store
of the throat in the world.
Therefore, daily teatime enjoys
itself very much and it is!

From a Japanese cake wrapper, February 2010. Submitted by Nathan Lechler.

Hearing Is a Way

Hearing is a way
of touching at a distance
and the intimacy
of the first sense
is fused with sociability
whenever people
gather together
to hear something special.

From ‘Soundscapes and Earwitnesses’ by R Murray Schafer, in Hearing History: A Reader, p.9. Submitted by Kate Guthrie.

A Certain Plant

I have written a monograph on a certain plant.
The plant lies before me;
I am just turning over a folded coloured plate.
A dried specimen of the plant,
as though from a herbarium,
is bound up with every copy.

From Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams: ‘Dream of a Botanical Monograph’. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Careering path

Intend to work
analytically, confidently

in
an ambitious and self
motivating atmosphere,

which would lead to
overall development
of my personality,

thus serving
the esteemed organization
efficiently, ultimately

paving a path to
a long lasting
and rewarding relationship.

A career objective in the C.V. of an applicant hoping to join my company this week. Submitted by Alan Mitchell.

Sex and dirty dishes

Jana offers the following assessment:
You know, I wouldn’t say you
doing the dishes for me
is better than sex…but it’s close.

I laugh and laugh.
I understand, I say,
You know,
I bet if we called all your friends tonight
and asked them the question,
‘Would you rather have sex
with your husband tonight
or have him wash the dishes?’
that 100% would say
‘Wash the dishes.’
She agrees.

But I have a crazy idea.
Let’s put this to the test! I say,
Let’s call your friends and pose the question.

So Jana starts making calls.
Asking wife after wife the question:
If you could have sex with your husband tonight
or have him do the dishes
what would you choose?

The results rolled in.
Like election night.
And the verdict?
100%

Do the dishes.

From the blog Experimental Theology, 2 August 2010. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Tom Hobson

Tom Hobson suggested
you become
a fan of Tom Hobson.
Tom became
a fan of Tom Hobson
on Facebook
and suggested
you become a fan too.

The subject line and text from a Facebook email.

Application to renew the photo on a driving licence

Be in sharp focus and clear.
Be taken of the full head. Not wear

glasses if the frames cover your eyes. Be
a colour photo (we

will not accept black and white).
Be taken against a light

grey or cream background. Not be
damaged, torn or marked. Be free

from redeye. Be facing for-
ward and looking straight. Have your

eyes open. Be free of any reflection or glare.
Not wear sunglasses, or have your hair

across your eyes. Be a true
likeness of you.

From the standards for UK driving licence photos according to the application form.

"Lima Delta"

November. Zulu Hotel, Quebec.
Oscar tango Juliet, echo foxtrot.
Yankee papa – golf, whiskey.

India sierra. Alfa Romeo.
Uniform xray “Victor” Mike
– kilo charlie.

Bravo.

Making a story out of the NATO phonetic alphabet. Lima Delta is a derogatory term in the military.