Left behind

A Jimmy Choo
Cinderella shoe.
A Pomsky
dog called Beyoncé.
An ice-cream cart,
a birth chart
and tarot reading.
A pair of six-foot angel wings.

A Roland drum kit,
an Angora rabbit
called Thumper, an Islamic
marriage certificate.
The bride’s pet lovebirds, Will and Kate,
which she was supposed to take
to the ceremony.
A GT V8 Bentley
convertible.
A huge inflatable
unicorn pool float,
a banana boat.
A telescope.

A DJI Phantom drone
and a coin collection started nine decades ago.

(From dogs to drones)

Set upon the étagère

Aftercare, agate ware
air-to-air, antiair
anywhere, arctic hare
Asian pear, bayadere
bêche-de-mer, Belgian hare
billionaire, boutonniere
bring to bear, camel hair
Camembert, captain’s chair.

Chinaware, compressed air
county fair, crackleware
Croix de Guerre, debonair
de la Mare, derriere
disrepair, doctrinaire
earthenware, easy chair
en plein air, everywhere
fighting chair, flying mare.

Fourragère, Frigidaire
germ warfare, get somewhere
graniteware, grizzly bear
here and there, hide or hair
hollowware, ice-cream chair
in one’s hair, in the air
ironware, jasperware
kitchenware, La Bruyère.

Lacquerware, laissez-faire
Latin square, legionnaire
lion’s share, Little Bear
love affair, luminaire
lusterware, magic square
mal de mer, managed care
market share, Medicare
metalware, millionaire.

Minaudière, miter square
Mon-Khmer, morris chair
Mousquetaire, nom de guerre
on the square, open-air
otherwhere, outerwear
overbear, overwear
perfect square, plasticware
polar bear, potty-chair.

Porte cochere, prickly pear
questionnaire, rivière
Robespierre, rocking chair
savoir faire, science fair
self-aware, self-despair
silverware, slipper chair
snowshoe hare, solar flare.

Solitaire, swivel chair
tear one’s hair, then and there
thoroughfare, trench warfare
unaware, underwear
vaporware, vivandière
wash-and-wear, water bear
wear and tear, willowware
woodenware, world premiere
yellowware, zillionaire.

From a list of words that rhyme with étagère on the Merriam Webster online dictionary, 31 January 2013. Submitted by Steph Dempsey.

Model Code

Flick yer bean
For Agyness Deyn
Give us a blow
Daisy Lowe

Wham bam
Thank you Stam
My flies are undone
Lily Donaldson

I’m a tosser
For Coco Rocha
Fancy a screw
Behati Prinsloo

Do me daily
Christoper Bailey
Cause me pain
Hedi Slimane

Uhu
Gareth Pugh
My legs are crossed
Georgia Frost

Grab my weiner
Iekeliene
Give us a backhander
Rachel Alexander

Let’s play naked Twister
Linda Evangelista
You would if you could
Cindy Crawford

I’ll show you who’s boss
Kate Moss
I’ve got more than a handful
For Naomi Campbell

Who needs a husband?
I’ve got House of Holland

T-shirt slogans from House of Holland’s AW07 collection (under Catwalk>AW07 on the site). Submitted by Marika Rose.

My Name Is

Hugh
Blue,
president. Jesse
Lesse,
Boston. Merry
Berry,
Chicago. Max
Wax,
Chicago. Della
Stella
Serritella,
Chicago. Hollie
Jolley,
San Bernardino.

Jane
Cane,
Wheaton.
Newton
Hooton,
Cambridge. Dick
Vick
and his son Dick
Junior, San Diego.
Kenny
Tenny
and his daughter Penny,
San Francisco.

Some of the members of the My-Name-Is-A-Poem Club, founded by journalist EV Durling in the 1940s. Found on Futility Closet. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Application to renew the photo on a driving licence

Be in sharp focus and clear.
Be taken of the full head. Not wear

glasses if the frames cover your eyes. Be
a colour photo (we

will not accept black and white).
Be taken against a light

grey or cream background. Not be
damaged, torn or marked. Be free

from redeye. Be facing for-
ward and looking straight. Have your

eyes open. Be free of any reflection or glare.
Not wear sunglasses, or have your hair

across your eyes. Be a true
likeness of you.

From the standards for UK driving licence photos according to the application form.

Alan to Zoe

Alan, Alfie, Ami,
Benedict, Clementine, Eilidh.
Ethan,
Ewan,
Gemma, Georgia,
Huxley, Isaac, Joseph, Leah,
Liam, Macie, Marika.
Mateus, Matthew,
Muadh, Niuniu,
Pietro,
Risha, Seungji, Shilo.
Tamzin, Taslima, Tyan,
Yonatan.
Zoe.

The first names of all my son’s classmates. He’s just started school.

Tea-hee

Founded in 188-
6, we
are an independent family
business, dedicated to the pleasures of good tea
and coffee.

In every
cup of our tea
you can taste the skill, creativity
and craftsmanship of our tea
blenders. We
visit tea
estates personally
to select only
the finest sea-
sonal hand-plucked teas.

By investing in long term partnerships and paying fair prices, we
are able to make a positive difference to the quality
of our teas

and the lives of the growers.

From the packaging of Taylors of Harrogate Delicate Green Tea, March 2009. Submitted by Marika Rose.