Author: gabrielsmy

IS

is
it true
that postmodern people
do not believe in
absolute truth?
and if so
why cant we
find any real-life people
who fit this description?
and if there are none
but only straw men?
then who
is
our
enemy?
because
if we cant find an enemy
(where are all those atheists
when we need them?)
how will ministries
raise money?
or
even worse
if postmodern
people
are
actually
MORE open
to the story of God
than people
thought
then
why have
our churches failed so miserably
to attract them?
and
whose job is it
to communicate the gospel
THEIR JOB to understand
or OUR JOB to create
understanding?
and
therefore
does THE CHURCH
need
to change
the way it is
doing things?
but then
if
transition
means change
and change brings loss
and nobody likes to lose anything then
it may be easier
for the church
to just point the finger
at the emerging generation
and say that we failed
in the
Great Commission
and it is all your fault for
not holding to the paradigm
that has worked for our fathers
we have good news
for modern man
but not for you
sorry
if you can change
the way you process information
then we have a message
from God
for you
for
apparently
either God is not able
to speak to you in
your language
or
we
the church
need to go back
to the drawing board
and yet if we are honest
we have too much investment
in our drawing board
to rethink it
in todays
world
unless
of course
we begin to believe
that the story of God
is already making sense
to postmodern people who see
truth personified in The One Absolute
He Who Can Be Trusted
He Who Is
Is Truth
Is Way
He is
Life
IS

From Andrew Jones’s post on tallskinnykiwi, 5 December 2003. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Autosuggestion

why is the sky blue
why is michael jackson white
why is the sea salty
why is my computer so slow
why is a raven like a writing desk
why is my period late
why is there a dead pakistani on my couch
why is yawning contagious
why is friday 13th unlucky
why is the sea blue

Google search box autosuggestions for ‘why is,’ 21 Sep 2009. Submitted by Alan Mitchell.

Dissertation and Independence

The problem of ‘ideology’ and ‘politics’
influencing statistics
affects not only their reliability
and validity
but also their availability.

In some cases this problem was insurmountable,
and statistics on, for example,
the number of young asylum seekers,
were simply not available;
the discussion section deals with this.

However, rather than allow the availability
of statistics – a political issue –
to shape which variables
I chose to present
data on, I felt a moral

imperative to present the findings with ‘gaps’
since, in any case, the gaps
in these statistics spoke perhaps
more, than the statistics
which were available.

Excerpt from my 2009 dissertation. Submitted by Emma.

Bagpuss

Once upon a time, not so long ago,
there was a little girl and her name was Emily.
And she had a shop – there it is.It was rather an unusual shop
because it didn’t sell anything.
You see, everything in that shop window
was a thing that somebody had once lost,
and Emily had found,
and brought home to Bagpuss.

Emily’s cat Bagpuss:
the most important –
the most beautiful –
the most magical –
saggy old cloth cat in the whole wide world.

Well now, one day Emily found a thing
and she brought it back to the shop
and put it down in front of Bagpuss
who was in the shop window fast asleep as usual.
But then Emily said some magic words:

Bagpuss, dear Bagpuss,
old fat furry catpuss,
wake up and look at this thing that I bring.
Wake up, be bright,
be golden and light;
Bagpuss, oh hear what I sing.

And Bagpuss was wide awake.
And when Bagpuss wakes up
all his friends wake up too:
the mice on the mouse-organ woke up and
stretched; Madeleine, the rag doll; Gabriel,
the toad; and last of all, Professor Yaffle,
who was a very distinguished old woodpecker.

He climbed down off his bookend and went to see
what it was that Emily had brought.

The voiceover from the beginning of UK children’s TV programme Bagpuss, 1974.

Who Are You Looking For?

Who are you looking for?
Penelope Twee –
Search for a username,
first or last name.
Did you mean Penelope Tree?
We
couldn’t find anyone named
Penelope Twee.

Who are you looking for?
Gilbert Same –
Search for a username,
first or last name.
Did you mean Gilbert Lee?
We
couldn’t find anyone named
Gilbert Same.

Who are you looking for?
John Bob Bobson –
Hmm. Our
name search server seems
to have wandered off.

Who are you looking for?
Wigan Pier –
Sorry, but
you’ve reached your limit
on searches for now.

Microcopy on the Twitter Find People page when I entered the names above, 2009.

The Top Ten Weirdest

The top ten weirdest
and funniest
Japanese condoms.
Ten ways to have fun
with boobs.

Fifteen ads that prove
sex sells … best? Thirteen
haunted houses
that will make you
wet your pants. Girls

get the anime look
with extra-wide
contact lenses. Fresh
baked bread, anyone?
Gruesome body bakery.

Fifteen strange
and bizarre gifts
for the weirdos
in your life. World’s first
eyeball tattoo – ouch!

Ten types of women
you need to avoid.
The top ten
weird and bizarre
Japanese soft drinks.

Top 10 all-time most popular articles on inventorspot.com, as of 13 August 2009.

Hose on Charlie’s Nose

Come on Charlie, get ready to be turned on.

I don’t want a hose
on the end of my nose.
I’ll look like an elephant.

O but Charlie, just think,
you’ll be doing a great job.
Your cold water will be cleaning
Button Moon.

Alright Small, just for you.
Go on. Stick it on.

Small, when you’re ready
for Charlie to be turned on
you just call out
and I’ll get soggy cloth.
He spends most of his time
sitting over there in that soap dish.
It’s about time he did some work.

Sorry Captain Large,
I’ve got the other end of the hose
but I don’t know what to do with it.

Get ready to turn him on.
Slurp. Slurp. Slurp.

Oh well done Small.
Now you can press the button,
nice and slow.

Oooooh.

Dialogue from Button Moon episode ‘Hose on Charlie’s Nose,’ 1980s.