Author: gabrielsmy

A Prayer for Skeletons

1.

Father, thank you for today.
Thank you that you made us
and that you love us.

I pray that Theo and Huxley
won’t be afraid of anything:
not monsters or dinosaurs,
noises or the dark,
aliens or skeletons
(or pirates),
school or nursery.

Or anything they’ve read in a book
or seen in a film.

I pray that they will sleep really well
and have good dreams not bad dreams.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

2.

You didn’t say pirates
I did say pirates.
You didn’t say skeletons
I did say skeletons.

You didn’t say football club
You’re not scared of football club.
I am. You’re not going to football club
for another four sleeps.

You didn’t say nursery
I did but just for you,
help him not be scared of nursery
amen now go to sleep.

The prayer my sons make me say every night before bed, and the typical conversation that ensues.

The Pipes O’ Bladnoch

Intermediate spirit receiver
Cool wash into still
Wash to heat exchanger
Warm wash into still

Spent lees
Pot ale out
Pot ale in
Pot ale out

Warmed wash to wash still
Pot ale through heat exchanger
Pot ale from still
Pot ale out to effluent tanks

Pot ale from still
Pot ale out
Pot ale in
Pot ale out

Words written on the pipes at Bladnoch whisky distillery. Visited April 2009.

Agoraphobia Bites

I started to feel like
something was pushing me
down into the ground and I just freaked out.

So I grabbed the bairns and
said we’ve got to go home.
I felt like everything was just closing

in on me I thought I
was dying. I heard the
bairns in the garden playing in the snow

and I got angry with myself
and I thought I’m missing out on them.
So I slowly sidled

to the edge of the bed,
crawled on my hands and knees to the window
and looked out all wide-eyed.

One of the bairns looked up
and waved and said ‘there’s mam’ I said ‘hi son’
and shot back into bed.

The words of Sue Curtis in Woman Leaves House After 20 Years.

The Love Song of I. Buprofen

If you suffer from any of the following
at any time during your treatment
stop taking the medicine and seek
immediate medical help:

Pass blood in your faeces.
Pass black tarry stools.
Vomit any blood or dark particles
that look like coffee grounds.
Develop a stiff neck, headache, nausea,
vomiting, fever and disorientation.

Stop taking the medicine and
tell your doctor if you experience:

Indigestion or heartburn.
Abdominal pains (pains in your stomach)
or other abnormal stomach symptoms.
Asthma, shortness of breath, skin rash,
itching or swelling of the face and tongue.

Fever, sore throat, mouth ulcers,
flu-like symptoms, severe exhaustion,
unexplained bleeding or bruising.

Other side effects that some patients
have had with ibuprofen include:

Stomach discomfort,
diarrhoea,
flatulence (wind),
constipation,
headache, dizziness,
vertigo, tinnitus

(ringing in the ears),

fluid retention,
high blood pressure,
visual disturbances,
feeling unwell,
tiredness and drowsiness,
sleeping problems,
nervousness, numbness
and tingling,

confusion, hallucinations and depression,
swelling of the feet and occasionally
blistering or flaking of the skin.

It has been known for Ibuprofen
to cause gastro-intestinal disturbances
such as abdominal pain, nausea,
vomiting or ulcers. Ibuprofen
can make colitis and Crohn’s disease worse.

Very rarely,
blood in the urine,
kidney damage or
even failure,
liver damage
(including jaundice,
with yellowing of
the skin or eyes),
blood disorders or
sensitivity
to light may occur.

Some patients with
auto-immune disorders
(such as lupus)
have experienced a
kind of meningitis
(inflammation
of the brain) with
symptoms such as
stiff neck, headache,
nausea, vomiting,
fever or disorientation.

If you experience any other
unusual or unexpected symptoms
which persist or are troublesome,
consult your doctor or pharmacist.

If you experience
dizziness, drowsiness,
tiredness or problems with vision,
do not drive or
operate machinery.

Medicines such as Ibuprofen
tablets may be associated with
a small risk of heart attack
(“myocardial infarction”)

or stroke.

From the Patient Information Leaflet for Ibuprofen Tablets BP 200mg, bought from the Co-op last week.

up4it

I spoke2Safia,
She was well up4it,
But timings r gonna b tricky.
The kids go2bed@10/11!

She said
She could
Change their bedtime4our class,
I don’t think that’s practical!

The kids r away
@their dads4most
of the w/end…
We could change
Times@the w/end
Dependin,
Coz she’s flexible.

What do u think?

Text from a friend, 1 April 2009. Submitted by Liz.

Tea-hee

Founded in 188-
6, we
are an independent family
business, dedicated to the pleasures of good tea
and coffee.

In every
cup of our tea
you can taste the skill, creativity
and craftsmanship of our tea
blenders. We
visit tea
estates personally
to select only
the finest sea-
sonal hand-plucked teas.

By investing in long term partnerships and paying fair prices, we
are able to make a positive difference to the quality
of our teas

and the lives of the growers.

From the packaging of Taylors of Harrogate Delicate Green Tea, March 2009. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Spam #2

Has your cum ever dribbled
and you wish it had shot out?
Have you ever wanted
to impress your girl
with a huge cumshot?

SPUR-M is the only site to offer
an allnaturalmaleenhancementformula
proven to increase your sperm volume
by up to five hundred percent.

Imagine the difference
– look and feel –
between dribbling your cum
compared to shooting out
burst after burst.

With our money back guarantee
you have absolutely
nothing to lose.

Text from a spam email, 2004.